


never thought that this would happen

by superhoney



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Blow Jobs, Boys of Summer, Camping, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Minor Jo Harvelle/Victor Henriksen, Non-Penetrative Sex, Or not, Platonic Application of Sunscreen, Stargazing, post-college
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-12-10 08:49:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11688198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/superhoney/pseuds/superhoney
Summary: It's a last hurrah for the five of them, a weekend camping trip to celebrate the fact that they've made it through four years of college and they've all got big plans for the future. Dean isn't exactly excited about all of his friends going their separate ways-- especially not Cas, because the way Dean feels about him is definitely more than friendly. He isn't planning on making his feelings known, but sometimes, plans change.





	never thought that this would happen

**Author's Note:**

> I've barely written anything all month, and then I was listening to the song with the same title as this fic, and I decided I needed to make it a story. Two days later, here we are. 
> 
> Thank you to Anna for reading this over for me, as always, and to the Tropefest chat for answering my random questions about what certain things are called or how certain things work in the U.S.

The whole trip was Charlie’s idea. “It’s genius,” she declared, a grin lighting up her face. “Look, it sucks that we’re all going off on big adventures in just over a month, so let’s have one last adventure all together before then, okay?”

It didn’t take much to persuade Dean. A weekend camping trip with his best friends sounded perfect, especially since he was starting to get a bit emotional about them all splitting up for post-college life. He agreed instantly, and Charlie immediately went into full planning mode, fingers flying over her keyboard as she looked into the finer details.

And now here they are, Dean and four of his closest friends, pulling into their assigned spot at Eagle Lake Campground. From the passenger seat, Cas lets out a low whistle. “Wow,” he murmurs. 

Dean looks over at him and smiles. “Pretty awesome, right?”

“As if I would plan our trip anywhere less than incredible,” Charlie scoffs from the backseat, where she’s wedged between Jo and Alfie. 

Dean deftly maneuvers the truck into what looks like a good parking spot. He’s not used to driving Jo’s behemoth, but it made more sense to take it rather than his own beloved Impala. Honestly, he’s still surprised Jo let him drive it, but she declared herself on vacation from the minute they started the two-hour drive and refused to get behind the wheel.

He figures she deserves the break. They all do. They’ve worked hard over the past four years, all of them, through sleepless nights and panicked last-minute studying.

In September, Jo will start training as a physical therapist. Charlie will be off to MIT for some program that makes Dean’s head hurt just thinking about it. Alfie’s going to get his teaching degree, just like Dean, but they sadly won’t be attending the same school. And Cas… Cas is going the farthest of all of them, all the way to freaking Canada because he suddenly decided he wanted to be a marine biologist and apparently they’ve got some great programs up there. 

It’s not that Dean isn’t supportive. He is. He just wishes they could all stay together a bit longer. These four people have been his support system for the past four years. They’ve become like family to him. Dean already left his family once when he went away to school, and he isn’t looking forward to doing so again.

So this trip has to be perfect. A lofty goal, sure, but so far, things are looking pretty damn good.

Dean, Cas, and Jo get the tents set up while Charlie and Alfie unpack their supplies. A few other cars pass along the gravel road, drivers waving cheerfully at them, and Dean finds himself smiling and waving back even though he has no idea who any of them are. He catches Cas’ surprised look and shrugs. “What? I’m just being friendly.”

“You always did know how to make friends quickly,” Cas says with a fond smile.

Dean returns his smile, knowing they’re thinking of the same thing. They first met in their required freshman English Literature class, the first two people to arrive for the lecture. Cas had chosen a seat in the far corner of the room, and despite the fact that there were approximately two hundred other seats in the room, Dean chose the one beside him. 

They’ve been pretty much inseparable since then.

“Okay, so me and Charlie in this one, you guys in the bigger one?” Jo suggests, indicating the smaller of the two tents they’ve managed to set up in a surprisingly reasonable amount of time.

Cas raises his eyebrows at her. “I would have thought you’d be past all that gender segregation nonsense, Charlie.”

“Oh, I am,” she assures him. “Think of it more as quiet sleepers versus noisy sleepers.”

Dean scoffs, but she makes a fair point. They’ve spent enough time crashed at each other’s apartments to know that he, Cas, and Alfie all tend to snore on occasion, especially if they’ve been drinking. 

“Fine,” Dean says. “We’ll be outside most of the time anyway.”

“Exactly.” Charlie nods decisively. “Speaking of which, I think it’s time we go find the lake.”

They have a map of the campground that was handed to them on their way through the gates, and according to it, they’re only about a five minute walk from the lake. Grabbing sunscreen, towels, and a cooler full of drinks, they make their way down the path that leads through the trees and soon arrive at the beach.

“Oh, yes,” Jo says with a grin. “This is my kind of vacation.”

It really is beautiful. The beach is wide and sandy, with enough trees on its edges to provide some shade, and though there are plenty of people around, it’s big enough to not feel crowded.

They find a good spot and get themselves set up, then head off to change into their swimwear at the little shack just down the beach. Dean is the first to emerge, clothes held loosely in one hand, and he’s watching a nearby family play on the sand when Cas joins him.

“Hey,” Cas says, and Dean turns to look at him, gaze immediately drawn to the smooth expanse of his chest.

It’s no secret that Cas is a good-looking guy. What is a secret is just how much Dean wants to get his hands all over those broad shoulders and that firm chest, to trace his fingers lightly over the gorgeous line of those hips.

Dean swallows roughly and forces himself to meet Cas’ eyes. “Hey.”

For a split-second, he thinks he sees Cas’ eyes drop to his own chest, skin lightly tanned from other days outside, but before he can break the suddenly charged silence between them, Alfie does it for them.

“I’m going to need a lot of sunscreen,” he says sheepishly. 

Dean looks over at him and chuckles. Alfie’s skin is fair and lightly freckled, and Dean’s pretty sure he’ll burn in an instant. “Come on,” Dean says, slinging an arm over his shoulders and glancing back at Cas. “Protection is always important.”

Cas rolls his eyes, but there’s a slight twitch to his lips that Dean thinks might be a smile. 

Charlie and Jo meet them back at their little slice of beach a few minutes later, sauntering towards them in a ridiculously exaggerated manner. They both look great, drawing appreciative glances from several other beachgoers, but the moment is somewhat ruined when Charlie almost trips on the edge of the towel and loses her balance. Jo steadies her with a hand on her elbow, smirking slightly.

“And we haven’t even started drinking yet,” she says, shaking her head. 

“I’m overcome with excitement,” Charlie informs her, stooping to pick up a bottle of sunscreen. “Be nice to me, or I’ll miss a spot on purpose.”

“Please don’t miss any spots on me,” Alfie begs. He looks so genuinely horrified at the prospect that Dean laughs, grabbing another bottle of sunscreen and motioning to Alfie to turn around. 

“Don’t worry,” Dean assures him. “We won’t let you burn. Not on our watch.”

“Remember to re-apply after swimming,” Cas adds. He’s busily rubbing the lotion onto his own arms and torso, distracting Dean with the sight of his large hands running all over himself. Dean shakes off his lewd thoughts and focuses on Alfie. Once he’s completely covered, Dean turns so that Alfie can return the favour.

“Dean, can you do my back?” Cas asks, holding out the bottle to him.

“Uh, yeah, sure,” Dean stammers. He pours a generous amount of sunscreen onto his hand and carefully smoothes it over Cas’ back, desperately trying not to turn the motion into a caress.

It’s just platonic sunscreen application, he tells himself. There’s nothing sexual about the way Alfie’s hands are moving over his own back, so why is it different for he and Cas?

The answer is obvious. It’s pretty much always been different for he and Cas, at least on Dean’s end.

He can’t even pinpoint the moment he fell in love with his best friend, but he knows exactly when he realized it. They were studying for final exams at the end of their junior year, and Cas had fallen asleep at the table in the library, his dark head resting on the huge textbook he’d been busily reading over. Dean had looked up from his own notes and smiled, and that was the moment he knew.

He might have taken a chance on it, might have worked up the courage to ask Cas if they could turn one of their usual burger and movie dates into an _actual_ date, but Cas had been firm in his decision not to date at all during their senior year. Too much else to focus on, he’d declared.

And Dean wasn’t about to get into a relationship with anyone else, not while knowing he had feelings for Cas. It wouldn’t be fair. So he occasionally went home with people with no expectations on either end, and didn’t tell a single soul about the crush he was harbouring on his best friend. 

Cas’ skin is warm under Dean’s hands, and he rolls his neck to the side to allow Dean a better angle, pliant under his touch. Dean tries to be as thorough as possible while also getting the job done quickly, because he’s pretty sure he can’t take much more of this. 

As soon as he’s done, he drops his hands back to his own sides, keeping his breathing controlled. “You’re good to go,” he announces, pleased at how steady his voice is. 

“Thank you, Dean.” Cas’ eyes are bluer than the cloudless sky, and Dean just sort of stares at him, dazed, until he feels Charlie brush past him on her way towards the water. 

“You have to let it absorb first!” Jo shouts after her, but it’s pointless. Charlie is nothing if not determined, and she’s carrying her inflatable unicorn out to the water like she’s on some kind of mission.

Cas settles calmly on his towel, sliding a pair of sunglasses onto his face and somehow managing to look even more attractive with just that one small addition. “Don’t follow her bad example, Alfie,” he advises. 

“Yeah,” Dean says with a nod, sitting down besides Cas. “We’re going to be responsible adults soon, we should start practicing now.”

“Not likely,” Jo says with a snort. A volleyball rolls to a stop in front of her, clearly lost by the group a few feet away, and she lobs it back towards them with impressive accuracy. They cheer and wave, and she hesitates for a minute. “Do you guys mind…”

“Go for it,” Alfie says encouragingly. “We won’t feel abandoned, I swear.”

Jo grins and adjusts her ponytail, then trots off to join the volleyball players, who welcome her with smiles and handshakes. Dean watches in amusement as she starts to play, her competitive side clearly on display.

“Can we go in the water yet?” Alfie asks plaintively after a few more minutes. 

Cas checks the time on his phone and nods, rising to his feet in a graceful movement. “Yes.”

Alfie grins and takes off for the water at a run, Dean and Cas following at a more sedate pace. The water is warm from the sun, and soon it’s deep enough for them to fully submerge themselves. Dean dives under the water and relishes in the feeling of weightlessness before he comes up for air, looking over at Cas with a grin. Cas’ dark hair is plastered to his head, rivulets of water running down the long lines of his neck, and his grin matches Dean’s. 

“Don’t tell Charlie,” he whispers, then dives back under.

Dean frowns, confused for a moment, but as soon as he sees Cas emerge from the water right behind Charlie, he has to cover his mouth to conceal his laughter. Cas tips the floating contraption on its side, sending Charlie into the water, shrieking madly. She surfaces a few seconds later, wrapping herself around Cas and trying to pull him back under. 

He swims out to join them, and with his assistance, Charlie soon succeeds in dunking Cas under the water. He sends Dean a betrayed look as he comes back up, sputtering, and Dean just shrugs. “Sorry,” he offers. “But I’m sworn to defend the Queen.”

“I’m not,” Alfie says, and before Dean can react, he sends a huge wave of water splashing over him. Cas laughs in triumph, slinging a friendly arm over Alfie’s shoulders, and the situation soon dissolves into an all-out splashing war, the four of them acting more like children than college graduates.

Dean doesn’t care how they might look to anyone observing them. They’re here, they’re together, they’re having fun, and that’s all that matters to him.

***

The second day passes much like the first. After a lazy morning sipping coffee out of battered mugs handed down from various family members, they make their way back to the beach and set up for the day. Jo drags them all into playing volleyball with her again, and despite Dean’s protests, he actually has fun. Besides, it’s exquisite torture watching the long lines of Cas’ body as he jumps up to spike the ball over the net.

He’s also amused by the flirtation he witnesses between Jo and Victor, one of the guys from the other group. They tease her about him after the game ends, and she admits that she got his number the day before. 

Dean’s happy for her, even if it’s just a weekend thing. Jo’s had some rough luck with relationships recently, and Victor seems like a great guy. He doesn’t begrudge her spending time with him even when it’s supposed to be a last hurrah for the five of them. 

They’re still down by the lake as afternoon turns into evening, most of the other beachgoers slowly packing up for the day. Dean has commandeered Charlie’s inflatable unicorn, and the others are lazily circling around him. He keeps a wary eye on them, not wanting to be caught off his guard and tipped into the water, but they don’t seem interested in pranks at the moment.

“I can’t wait to be near the ocean,” Cas says. He’s floating on his back, his eyes closed against the bright sun. “I could spend every day in the water.”

“Except, you know, in the middle of winter,” Jo points out.

“Obviously,” Cas agrees. “But I’ll be too busy with schoolwork to care at that point.”

It shouldn’t hurt so much, to hear Cas talking about his future plans, but since those plans include being thousands of miles away from Dean, it does hurt. He stays quiet, wishing he could offer support and encouragement like Alfie or fond teasing like the girls. But all he can think about is being stuck in the middle of a landlocked state while Cas explores the vast depths of ocean life somewhere far away from him. 

He slips off and into the water, the sudden change in temperature shocking but not enough so to throw off his suddenly sour mood. “Need something to drink,” he explains hurriedly, swimming away from them and towards the shore. 

He’s well-aware that he’s being melodramatic, but he can’t seem to help it. He makes his way across the beach and grabs a bottle of water from their cooler, sinking onto his towel with a groan. 

“Dean?” 

He looks up at the sound of Charlie’s voice as she sits down beside him and steals a sip of his water. “What’s going on?” she asks. 

She really does know him well. Almost too well. Dean sighs and turns to face her. “I’m being stupid,” he mutters.

“No you’re not,” she assures him. “It’s about Cas, isn’t it?”

“How do you know--”

It looks like she’s barely holding back from rolling her eyes at him. “Dean, give me a little bit of credit. You took off as soon as we started talking about Cas leaving. And besides, I’ve known for a while now that you’ve got feelings that are more than friendly towards him.”

“Is it that obvious?” he asks. He wonders if everyone knows, or if Charlie is just more perceptive than most. 

“Maybe not to people who don’t know you as well as I do.” She gives him a small smile. “Don’t worry, I don’t think he knows.”

“Good,” Dean says firmly. “I don’t want to make things weird.”

She’s quiet for a minute. “For what it’s worth, I don’t think that would happen.”

Dean frowns at her. “Because Cas is way too nice and generous and understanding to let my stupid crush get in the way of our friendship, or because--”

Before he can finish his sentence, he sees the others come out of the water, making their way towards them. Charlie smiles at him ruefully. “Later,” she promises.

“Dinner time?” Alfie asks hopefully as he draws level with them.

Dean shakes his head, chuckling. Alfie is as thin as a reed, and yet he has a bigger appetite than even Dean. “Sure,” he says. “Let’s pack it up for the day.”

As they make their way back to their campsite, Cas falls into step beside Dean. “Are you okay?” he asks quietly, his eyes sweeping over Dean’s face in concern.

“Yeah,” Dean lies, “just a bit too much sun, you know?”

“No such thing,” Cas says, shaking his head. He reaches out and lightly taps Dean’s cheek. “I think you’ve doubled your number of freckles in the past two days.”

Dean manages a shaky laugh, and when Cas withdraws his hand, all he wants is to lean back into his touch. But he doesn’t. 

“I just want us to all have a great weekend, you know?” Cas says. 

“Yeah,” Dean says softly. “I know, Cas.”

It’s what he wants as well. Dean vows to stop being so self-centered. This trip is about all of them, not about his confusing feelings towards Cas. He can’t let himself lose sight of what’s really important here.

So he makes sure to snap a number of photos as they’re getting their dinner ready: Charlie and Jo posing lewdly with the hot dogs, Alfie’s blushing face in the background, Cas building up the fire. He sends a few of them to Sam, who texts him back a series of frowning emoticons, still slightly disappointed that he couldn’t join them on the trip. 

The sun is starting to go down as they finish their meal. Pleasantly full, Dean sprawls on the ground beside the fire, resting his head on one of their backpacks. Charlie presses a beer into his hand and he accepts it with murmured thanks, feeling lazy and content. 

“I’m going to miss this,” Alfie says suddenly. 

Dean looks over at him, his sweet face shadowed by the dimming light of the sun. “Alfie…”

“I know, I’m bringing down the mood, but I just...wanted you guys to know, how special this trip is to me. How special all of you are.” Alfie’s face is flushed pink by the time he finishes speaking, and Jo wraps an arm around his shoulders, whispering something into his ear that brings a smile back to his face. 

They’ve mostly avoided talking about it so far, the reason behind this trip. The fact that they’re all going their separate ways soon. But now that Alfie brought it up, the floodgates are open and there’s no turning back. 

“I hope the people at MIT don’t suck,” Charlie says. “People can be so competitive at the big league schools, you know?”

“I’m sure they can’t all be assholes,” Dean assures her. “It’s not like everyone we knew was a gem either. You just have to find the right people, you know?”

“It’s true,” Cas adds. “Not everyone can be as great as us, but they can’t all be as terrible as Crowley either.”

Dean shudders at the mention of Cas’ freshman-year roommate. Christ, that guy was annoying. 

“Besides,” Jo points out, “we’ll only be a few hours apart. We can make weekend trips, pick random places to meet up.” Then she looks over at Cas and grimaces. “Well, except for you.”

Cas doesn’t seem bothered, thankfully. “Thank god for technology,” he says with a shrug. 

“You’re really not scared to be going so far away?” Alfie asks. Dean’s just glad somebody else brought it up so he didn’t have to.

“Not really,” Cas replies. “Other than you four, there aren’t many people here I care about.”

Dean nudges Cas’ leg with his foot, a quiet gesture of understanding. Cas doesn’t talk about his family much, but they all know what he’s implying, and a heavy silence falls over the group.

“We’ll Skype you in at all of our gatherings,” Charlie says after a minute. “And we should start making holiday plans soon.”

There’s a chorus of murmured agreement from the rest of the group, and the mood shifts back to something lighter as they reminisce about past holidays, like the time they organized an epic snowball fight in the middle of campus on the last day of the exam period. 

“And just think,” Alfie says excitedly, “in a few years, we’ll be sitting around talking about this trip in just the same way.”

Dean likes the sound of that. “Come on,” he says, digging in his pocket for his phone. “Everybody, get in here.”

With some mumbled protests about having to get up, they all crowd around in front of the fire, faces pressed closely together to fit into the frame. Dean snaps a few pictures, wanting to capture this moment in time, the camera flash bright enough to illuminate their smiling faces. Cas’ arm is warm around his shoulders and Charlie’s hair smells like coconut, and he’s just so overwhelmingly _happy_ to be here with them all.

Jo’s phone buzzes as they all disentangle themselves, and she immediately pulls it out to reply to the message. She’s still close enough that Dean can peer over her shoulder, and before she pushes him away he manages to gather that she’s texting Victor.

“Nice,” he says, clapping her on the back. 

She looks up at the rest of them, an uncharacteristic hesitance on her face. “Would you guys mind if--”

“Go,” Cas says gently, and Dean loves that he’s the first to speak up, the first to voice his support. “It’s getting late, we probably won’t stay out much longer anyway.”

Dean’s pretty sure that isn’t true, but he knows it will make Jo feel less guilty for ditching them, so he nods. “Say hi to Victor for us.”

“What site number is he at?” Charlie asks.

“39,” Jo answers, rising to her feet and pocketing her phone. “Not too far down the road.”

“Want us to walk you?” Dean offers.

“That’s sweet, but no thanks. See you guys later.”

They all shout their goodbyes as Jo makes her way down the road, the flashlight Charlie handed her held loosely in one hand. Dean even manages to hold back any teasing remarks, which is a pretty generous gesture for him.

Dean grabs another round of beers for the four of them who remain, and the conversation continues for another hour or so. Dean’s glad there’s no one at the sites on other side of them, because they’re having a bit of a hard time keeping their voices down. 

Eventually, though, the conversation begins to falter, and Dean can see Alfie’s eyes slipping closed from across the fire. He’s just thinking about suggesting they call it a night when Cas’ voice breaks the silence. 

“Look,” he says, pointing upwards. 

They’ve been too focused on each other to really notice it until now, but the stars have come out in full force. Dean raises his eyes and lets out a little noise of amazement. “Shit,” he says. “That’s incredible.”

“Mmn-hmn,” Charlie agrees, covering a yawn with her hand. “Never get to see stars like this in town.”

“Let’s go down to the lake,” Cas says, no evidence of tiredness in his voice. “There are too many trees in the way here, we’ll have a better view out there.”

“Too comfy,” Charlie protests. “And besides, I think Alfie’s asleep.”

They all turn to look at him, and it appears that Charlie is correct. Cas looks over at Dean, a hopeful expression on his face, and before he can even ask, Dean finds himself nodding.

“Sure,” he says. “Let’s go.”

At Charlie’s insistence, they take a flashlight with them, and it does come in useful as they make their way along the path towards the lake. There are a million things Dean wants to say to Cas, but they keep quiet, mindful of the fact that they’re passing by other campsites whose occupants might be trying to sleep.

As they step out onto the beach, Dean feels his jaw drop. Cas was right-- the view is much better from here. He’s never seen so many stars.

Cas takes a few more steps, a look of wonder on his face, and it’s proof of how far gone Dean is on him that he finds himself looking at Cas’ face rather than the sky above them. He looks otherworldly in this light, face tilted up towards the sky, lips slightly parted in awe.

Then he looks back over his shoulder at Dean and smiles, and Dean’s heart turns over in his chest. Christ, he’s going to miss that smile. 

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it,” Cas murmurs.

“Yeah,” Dean agrees, but he’s still looking at Cas. “It is.” He walks out a bit farther to join him, standing close enough to reach out and take his hand, but he doesn’t. 

Cas is always looking elsewhere-- up to the sky, down into the depths of the sea. Anywhere but here. Dean’s more grounded, likes to focus on the here and now. But they’ve always complemented each other in these funny little ways. 

“Think you’ll see all the same stars up north?” Dean asks, striving to keep his tone light.

“Maybe,” Cas replies distantly. “I can’t wait to find out.”

Dean swallows roughly and looks away. But a few seconds later, he feels Cas’ warm hand close over his elbow, drawing his gaze back to his face.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Cas says softly. “I just…”

“I know,” Dean answers.

Because he does. He knows Cas is excited to do this thing, this thing that he’s decided he wants for himself, not because it’s what his family expects him to do or because it’s what will guarantee him a good life. And Dean’s happy for him, of course he is.

He just wishes Cas’ dream didn’t have to take him so far away.

“We’ll visit as much as possible,” Cas continues, and for some reason, he hasn’t let go of Dean. “I won’t make you fly out to see me, don’t worry.”

“I can drive,” Dean suggests. “Maybe. It’ll be a long trip, but that just means more time to make people jealous of the Impala.”

Cas smiles at him, his eyes crinkling up at the corners. “Of course.”

“And you’re going to spend holidays with me and Sam, right?”

“As many as I can,” Cas assures him. 

“Good.” Dean hates Cas’ family. Stuck-up, controlling bastards, the whole bunch of them. His dad wasn’t much better before he died, but now it’s just him and Sam and their dad’s friend Bobby, who may be a grump but loves them fiercely. Bobby has always welcomed Cas with open arms as well, and Dean knows how much that has meant to him over the years.

They’re all one big, cobbled-together family, and Dean just has to focus on that connection, not on the way he wants to wrap himself in Cas’ arms and beg him not to leave.

“Dean?”

Cas’ tone is concerned, and Dean snaps back to attention. “I’m fine,” he says. 

“You’re not, though. Earlier today, at the lake, and now this…”

Dean never has been very good at hiding his feelings, so it’s not really a surprise that Cas has picked up on his discomfort.

“It doesn’t have to change anything,” Cas tells him firmly. “It’ll be tough at first, and I’m going to miss everyone too, of course I will. But if you think for a second that I’m going to forget about any of you, you’re wrong. Making new friends doesn’t take away from the ones you already have.”

“I’m not worried about you making new _friends_ ,” Dean blurts out before he can stop himself. “I’m worried about you being swept off your feet by some sexy bearded Canadian lumberjack!”

He hears Cas’ startled intake of breath, and Dean laughs bitterly to himself. He was doing so well, and now he ruined everything. He turns away, but Cas’ grip on his elbow tightens, preventing him from moving.

“Dean,” he repeats, and there’s something new in his voice. “What are you--”

“Fuck,” Dean mutters under his breath. He exhales deeply and looks up to meet Cas’ eyes. “Cas. I wasn’t going to tell you, I didn’t want to make things awkward, but don’t you know?”

He doesn’t want to have to say the words out loud, because he doesn’t even know how to explain it. How to describe the way he feels about Cas.

Thankfully, though, Cas understands. He’s well-versed in Dean’s significant silences by now. His eyes widen, and Dean preemptively flinches back from the shock and disgust he expects to see there.

But instead, Cas reaches out with his free hand and gently rests it on Dean’s cheek. “Really?” he whispers.

Dean just nods.

“God,” Cas breathes. “I never thought-- Dean, you have the worst timing.”

“I know,” Dean says, a feeling like hope rising in his chest as he leans further into Cas’ touch. “I know, I’m an idiot, I should have said something when I figured it out a year ago, but you were so serious about focusing on school, and--”

Cas cuts him off with a kiss.

His lips are soft, and Dean can taste the beers they both drank earlier that evening, but underneath all that is the perfect rightness of having Cas’ mouth pressed against his own. It’s gentle at first, Cas’ hand sliding up to cup the back of his head, then turning greedy as Cas presses himself closer and wraps his other arm around Dean’s middle so they’re slotted together from head to feet.

When they finally pull apart to catch their breath, Cas’ eyes are a bit dazed, his lips swollen and his hair a wreck. He looks incredible. 

Part of Dean can’t believe they’re here, kissing on a beach under the light of a thousand stars, and he can’t stop the giddy smile that spreads across his face. Cas must feel it too, because he leans forward and kisses Dean again, pleased and affectionate.

“I think I started falling for you from the minute you sat down beside me in freshman year,” Cas admits. “And I’ve never really stopped.”

There’s nothing Dean can say to that, so he just kisses him again, still so amazed that it’s something he can finally do. He’d be happy to stay like this forever, just kissing, but as they shift slightly to get a better angle, he can feel the hard line of Cas’ erection brush against his hip, and it sends a shiver of excitement racing down his spine. 

Cas is trailing kisses across his jaw, moving to the side of his neck, and if Dean doesn’t stop them now, they’re going to end up doing something that will lead to sand in uncomfortable places at best and being arrested for public indecency at worst. 

“Cas,” he protests. “We gotta move this somewhere else.”

“Why?” Cas asks, taking his lips away from Dean’s neck. Dean mourns the loss of contact, but stands firm. 

“Because we might not be the only ones who get the clever idea to come down here to look at those stars, and I don’t know about you, but I’m not really into being interrupted.”

Cas sighs, looking greatly displeased at the idea, but after a moment, he nods. “Fine,” he says with a sigh. But he reaches out and takes hold of Dean’s hand and doesn’t let go of it all the way back to their own campsite, his thumb rubbing slow circles over the inside of Dean’s wrist.

Charlie and Alfie are still sitting in front of the ashes of their fire, bundled under oversized sweatshirts and possibly both asleep. Dean raises his finger to his lips and makes sure the fire is in no danger of restarting, then pulls Cas with him into their tent and zips it up as quietly as possible.

“Alfie’s going to wake up and come in eventually,” Cas murmurs, but Dean shakes his head. 

“Charlie’s smart, she’ll figure it out,” he says, “and take him into her tent with her, since I’m betting Jo’s not coming back tonight.”

“It’s not the most romantic setting,” Cas says, looking dubiously around the tent. 

“I don’t need romance,” Dean replies immediately. “I just need you.”

With anyone else, he’d worry he was embarrassing himself, but not Cas. Cas has seen him at his worst, strung out on too little sleep and too much worry, and he’s stuck around anyway. A few overly sentimental words aren’t going to scare him away now. 

“You have me,” Cas assures him, moving towards Dean and drawing him down onto the pile of sleeping bags on the tent floor. “You’ll always have me.”

Dean’s too busy tugging at the hem of Cas’ t-shirt to answer. Cas chuckles and raises his arms over his head so Dean can pull it off, and as soon as Dean has removed his own shirt and thrown them both aside, their hands are all over each other, mapping out skin that still feels warm from the summer sun. 

Cas trembles slightly under Dean’s touch, and Dean wishes they had better lighting so he could see the look on his face as he presses kisses all down the centre of his chest, feeling the muscles flex under his lips. Cas is making all sorts of lovely noises, and Dean regrets that he has to kiss him again to shut him up.

“We have to be quiet,” he reminds him. “Unfortunately.”

Cas mumbles a protest, but he bites down on his own lip as Dean returns his attention to the wide expanse of his chest, gently flicking his tongue over one dark nipple. Cas squirms at the sensation and Dean pauses, unsure if it’s a good or bad response. Cas’ enthusiastic nod answers his unspoken question, so he repeats the action on the other side. 

He stretches out over Cas and kisses him deeply, bringing their lower bodies back into contact and hissing as their erections press against each other. God, he really wishes he’d thought to bring lube with him. 

“I don’t suppose you brought supplies?” he asks.

Cas shakes his head, laughing quietly. “No, I didn’t pack lube and condoms for a weekend camping with my best friends, knowing I’d be sharing a tent,” he answers. 

Dean sighs and drops his head onto Cas’ shoulder, considering. “What do you want?” he asks. He’ll give Cas anything. Everything. 

He feels Cas’ chuckle rumble through his chest. “Oh, Dean,” he says, his voice low. “Now that’s a question.”

“What do you want _now_?”

It’s dark in the tent, but their eyes have adjusted enough to the lack of light that Dean can see Cas’ eyes flick down to his lips for a second before lifting again, almost guilty. Dean grins. “Yeah,” he says roughly. “Yeah, alright.”

He kisses his way down Cas’ torso again, spending a few extra minutes worshipping the mouth-watering cut of his hips before pressing a kiss to the lowest part of his stomach, just above the line of his jeans. Cas groans, his hips lifting off the ground and nudging insistently against Dean’s face. 

Dean undoes Cas’ pants slowly, brushing his hand over the bulge of his cock as he does, loving the choked-off moan Cas produces as he does. His boxers slide off next, and then he’s completely bare to Dean’s admiring gaze. 

It won’t be the first time for either of them, Dean knows, but it’s their first time together, and that makes it special. He leans down to kiss Cas again until he’s twisting desperately beneath him, and then Dean finally takes pity on him and slides down to take him in his mouth. 

Cas’ dick is as gorgeous as the rest of him, and Dean lavishes it with attention, loving the weight of it on his tongue. One of Cas’ hands sneaks down to rest tentatively on Dean’s head and he pushes into the touch, encouraging Cas to tighten his grip. He feels Cas’ fingers flex as he takes him further into his mouth and smiles in satisfaction. 

Despite his best efforts to stay quiet, Cas is clearly unravelling under Dean’s ministrations. He’s thrusting gently into Dean’s mouth, breathing in harsh pants, and Dean can tell he’s getting close. He slips a hand underneath them, just barely brushing over Cas’ hole, and hears Cas moan.

“Dean,” he says, and in four years of knowing each other, Dean has never heard Cas say his name quite like that. He hopes to hear it again and again. “Yes, like that.”

Someday, they’re going to be prepared to do this properly, but Dean wouldn’t trade anything about this moment. He keeps Cas’ cock in his mouth as he strokes behind him again, increasing the pressure slightly, and when he does it a third time, Cas lets out an unearthly groan and spills into his mouth. 

“God,” he breathes. “Dean, that was--”

“I know,” Dean says smugly as he pulls off. He’s feeling pretty pleased with himself and doesn’t care enough to bother trying to hide it. 

Cas laughs and pulls him into a kiss, heedless of the taste of his own come in Dean’s mouth. “What about you?” he murmurs. “I’m more than willing to return the favour.”

It’s a tempting offer, but Dean is already so turned on from bringing Cas pleasure that he thinks he would explode the second Cas’ mouth got anywhere near his dick. He shakes his head and pushes his own pants and underwear down, lowering himself over Cas so his cock is pressed tightly into the groove of his hip. “Can I just--”

“Yeah,” Cas murmurs. “Just like that, Dean.”

Cas’ skin is warm and slightly sweaty, enough so that Dean’s dick slides perfectly against it as he ruts forward. Cas presses kiss down the side of his neck and murmurs quiet endearments in his ear as Dean chases his release, and just as he’s getting close, Cas reaches down between them and wraps one hand around Dean’s cock. Dean’s rhythm falters for a second and he lets out a rather loud noise of his own, Cas’ teeth flashing in a triumphant grin.

A few strokes later, and Dean is coming between them, Cas’ name falling from his lips as he does.

After a few minutes of silence as they catch their breath, Dean rolls over and looks down into Cas’ face. “Hey,” he says. 

“Hello,” Cas replies, his eyes luminous in the dark of the tent. 

“We’re a mess,” Dean says ruefully.

Cas rummages around and finds his t-shirt, then wipes them both down with it and tosses it aside. “Better?”

“Mmn-hmn,” Dean murmurs, suddenly exhausted. He burrows into Cas’ chest, and a second later, Cas’ arms come around him, holding him close. It feels wonderful, but now that the fog of lust had cleared, Dean’s starting to wonder exactly what this means for the two of them.

“What are we gonna do, Cas?”

“Sleep,” Cas whispers into his hair. “We can talk in the morning.”

It’s not the most satisfying answer, but Dean knows he’s right. He feels Cas press a kiss to his cheek, and then he drifts away to sleep.

***

Dean wakes up once, disoriented at first, but he settles back into Cas’ arms as soon as he remembers what happened the night before. He smiles to himself and decides he can sleep a little bit longer. They are on vacation, after all.

But his internal alarm wakes him up again about an hour later, and the tent is starting to get warm with the rising sun. He slips carefully out of Cas’ embrace, not wanting to wake him, since Cas is decidedly not a morning person. He looks down at his face and sighs, then leaves the tent as quietly as possible.

Charlie’s already awake, seated at the picnic table with a cup of coffee in her hands, her red hair in disarray. She raises an eyebrow at Dean as he joins her, but her serious expression cracks quickly, and she leans forward with interest.

“Imagine my surprise when I woke up in front of a dying fire last night, Alfie sleeping on my shoulder, and some very familiar voices making noises I’d hoped to never hear,” she says. 

Dean winces. “Sorry. We were, uh, trying to be quiet, but--”

Charlie holds up a hand to stop him. “No details, please.” But then she smiles broadly. “I’m happy for you, though.”

“Thanks,” Dean tells her. “I just don’t know what it means, now. We’re going to be so far apart, and…”

“And nothing,” Cas says from behind him. 

Dean whirls around to face him, and Cas smiles gently before tilting Dean’s head up for a brief kiss. Charlie lets out a little noise of surprise, but they ignore her. 

“Stop worrying,” Cas says when they pull apart. “We’re going to do exactly what we always said we would. We’ll talk every day, we’ll see each other as often as we can, I’ll be back for holidays.”

“And that will be enough?” Dean asks. He trusts Cas, and he wants to believe they have a chance to make this work, but he needs to know that Cas is on the same page.

“Of course it will.”

Charlie clears her throat awkwardly, and Dean manages to pull his attention back towards her. “I’ll just go be elsewhere for a few minutes,” she says. 

Dean starts to protest, immediately feeling guilty, but she waves off his apologies and makes her way down the path towards the bathroom facilities.

“She heard us last night, you know,” he says after a moment.

“And whose fault was that?” Cas counters.

“I told you to be quiet.”

“And then made it absolutely impossible for me to do so.”

Dean can’t help the pleased smile that spreads across his face at Cas’ words. Cas rolls his eyes fondly and kisses him again, dropping onto the bench beside him and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. 

“I know you’re worried,” he says. “And that’s valid. But Dean, I’ve wanted to be with you for years. I’m not going to throw that away now just because it might not be easy.”

It’s a pretty convincing statement. “You really think we can make it work?”

“I know we can,” Cas states. 

Dean takes a deep breath. “Okay, then. Let’s do this.”

Cas beams at him, his eyes sparkling in the morning sunlight, and Dean simply has to kiss him again. They’re just pulling apart once more when Dean looks up to see Alfie staring at them, his mouth wide open in shock.

“Clearly,” he says slowly, “I missed a lot last night.”

Dean and Cas dissolve into helpless laughter, and they’re in the middle of explaining the whole thing to Alfie when Charlie comes back and demands they start at the beginning. Not long after that, Jo arrives, a satisfied smile on her face that soon turns to surprise as she takes in how close Cas and Dean are sitting, and then they have to explain all over again.

Cas holds Dean’s hand the entire time.

“Quite the trip we’ve had, huh,” Charlie says after they’re all caught up.

“And it’s not even over yet,” Dean points out. “We’ve got half a day still before we have to head out.”

“No sneaking off to be alone, the two of you,” Alfie says.

“We would never,” Dean protests. 

“We might,” Cas says at the same time.

They exchange amused glances while the others roll their eyes. “They’re going to be insufferable, aren’t they,” Jo says. 

“Probably,” Charlie agrees.

“Sorry?” Dean says, not really meaning it at all. “Come on. Let’s go down to the beach. And maybe, on the way, Jo can tell us all how her night went.”

Caught off guard by the sudden change in topic, Jo flushes red, and Charlie cackles in amusement as she bounds to her feet. “Well played, Dean,” she says approvingly. “Well played.”

They pack their things up to bring with them down to the lake, Dean humming happily to himself. Cas takes hold of his hand as they walk along the path, the same way he did the night before, and this time, as they rub sunscreen over each other’s backs, Dean doesn’t have to worry about letting his hands linger. 

“Think we can both fit on the inflatable unicorn?” he asks as they wade into the lake. 

Cas grins at him, eyes bluer than the sky above them. “I’m sure we’ll find a way.”

“Yeah,” Dean says. “I think so too.”


End file.
